黃偉德自然醫學中心
Arden Wong Natural Medicine Centre


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乖孩子的傷,最重

October 1, 2017

 

乖孩子受的傷,最重。乖孩子,會聽話,守規矩,會做奴隸,但很少會做自己的主人。甚麼叫乖?最容易去描述「乖」的行為是聽話守規,那維持了家庭學校社會的和諧,大人都常說好。但孩子是甚麼動機去乖呢?如果乖是為取悅大人?是為恐懼失去寵愛?是為避免懲罰和麻煩?更因而放棄自己,同時有不被明白、尊重的感覺呢?那就是傷了。以糖果金錢賞罰,或是兇惡高壓,「你不乖我就不開心」的方法,去要孩子的乖乖,其實都是操控,即使孩子乖乖聽話,其實長遠是培養了以利益和恐懼去行事,都是傷。如果是他衷心懂得尊重群體,同時仍忠於自己、敢於去追求和追求自己的夢想,這個乖孩子也就真是好了。

註:題目取自李雅卿《乖孩子的傷,最重》。

Be a Good Boy, or Be Yourself

 

Good children listen to his parents and teachers, follow the rules, and behave well. They learn to be good slaves. Not master of their own. 

Adults loves good boys. They don't scream, they don't disrupt. They are easy on parents and teachers. But let's ask: why do good boys want to be "good" boys? To avoid punishment? To please the teachers? For fear of losing the affection of their parents? 

Reward and punishment systems, authoritative suppressions, and "I would be sad if you don't behave" statements are typical manipulative measures used by adults. But what are their consequences? The child will only learn to live up to others' expectations and standards, and under the fear of failure, poverty, and not loved. He is afraid of expressing himself and going his own way. Gradually he'll forget what he really wants, and who he is. A life of frustrations. Alternatively, he'll become rebellious to express his frustrations, powerlessness, and hunger for love.

The healthy great boy, may disregard rules and regulations, but naturally respect all people, because he has enough self-respect and self-love. He feels worthy, he doesn't need external approval. He is inner-driven, passionate about life. He has his own dreams and dare to manifest his dreams.

 

 

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